Lists a mile long

I like to make lists.. sadly I don't seem to follow them very often, but I really enjoy making them! Lately I have found myself making lists in class of all the things I still want to do here in London. I realized that I still have SO many and I really only have two weeks left in the city! EEKS!

Whoops - i just realized that list is super little... oh well - all you need to know is that there is a lot I want to do and let's just hope I get it all done!!! Wish me luck!

P.S. I am in love with these dresses... too bad they would break the bank... literally!

http://www.fennwrightmanson.com/mailorder/product.php?xProd=4125&xSec=191

http://www.fennwrightmanson.com/mailorder/product.php?xProd=4173&xSec=191

Welcome to the Land of Plaid!

This last week we headed to Scotland and it was so much fun! We saw some amazing things and got to experience a little bit of life in the country!

Highlights were

1. Yorkminster Cathederal. It was AMAZING and I am so glad we went! 

 Fun Fact: Yorkminster is the largest cathedral in Northern Europe 

FF : Its stained glass is real Medieval glass. No faking it here!

2. Edinburgh Castle. The crowned jewels were FANTASTIC and the Scottish guys talking about them were pretty hilarious themselves.

3. Scottish buses have plaid seats. They absolutely love it there!
4. St. Andrews. I am not a huge golf person myself, but I had a blast and being there totally made me want to play golf! 

 FF: St. Andrews is known as the home of Golf

 FF: It is also Tiger Wood's favorite place to play

5. Windemere Lake. Being on a boat in the rain on a lake made me miss HOME alot! 
6. Hiking. Nature is BEAUTIFUL and I love it! 

 FF: Hand built Natural art is AWESOME

 FF: This used to be a slate quarry. If you look really hard you can see the railroad ruins.  

 FF: I may or may not have slipped and fell in the mud.. Whoops!

FF: Nature Rocks!

That's all for now - you can also check out my Walks blog at Walkonlondon.blogspot.com !!

Time may heal, but it can never replace

7 years ago today my life and the life of my family and many people around us we thrown into something that would change our lives forever. 7 years ago I was a 13 yr old who was busy wearing my sister's clothes, trying to fit in, and living life as I knew it back then. On May 24th 2004 that would all change and life took on an entirely different meaning. My big sister Brooke Carol Wilberger who was 19 and home from her first year of college at BYU disappeared and unknown to me that morning was the last morning I would ever see her again. She told me she loved me before she left for work and I grudgingly went to school only to come home and find out that my world had been turned upside down. Her personality and character left no doubt to the police that it was a serious crime and her case took on a life of its own. Hundreds of volunteers searched to find her, but they never would. About a year later our family would discover that Brooke was never coming home alive. The bright  blue eyed, blonde hair girl who lit up my world would never grace me with her presence. For the next 4 years we waited and waited and worked with police to bring her killer to justice. We didn't have her body and there was still an unsaid hope that it was a dream we would all wake up from. A few weeks after I began my freshman year at BYU I received the most heartbreaking call of my life... My mom called me to tell me that Brooke's body had been found and her killer had entered a plea bargain. Some might think this would be a joyful day, but for me the world came crashing down. Everything I had ever hoped for was gone and there was a solid reality that she was gone. I immediately flew home and joined my family to attend the final court hearing in her case. I learned details of the case I wish I never knew and everything over the past 5 1/2 years was right there in front of my face again. Thanksgiving came and I joined my family and friends as Brooke was brought home and buried.

 It has been 7 years and I still cry as I write this blog post, there is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her and there are many days where the pain is just as bad as it was the day it happened, sometimes worse. When you are young and don't always understand the circumstances or long term results of tragic situations it sometimes doesn't not hit as hard as when you are older and can understand relationships and emotions and the situation. 7 years ago I was a 13 yr old girl thrown into a world of police and FBI agents and criminal rules and adult situations. Today I am a 20 yr old girl trying to survive college, work, plan a wedding, and deal with more adult situations. But I still miss her more than I could ever say and the pain of her death still stings. Time has healed me a lot, but time will never be able to replace Brooke in my life. I have learned so much during this experience and it has shaped who I am today. It was not a one time event that happened and was done, it was a part of me and my life and I am me because of it. While I would never want to go through it again or wish it upon anyone else ever, I am grateful for the things I have learned and the person I have become because of her death.

Some Things I have learned over the years:

Joy can be found in suffering. Brooke's death is very bittersweet for me ~ I have grown so much as a person through this experience and I have learned to enjoy life in different ways and to love so much more even through the pain of her death. 

Everyone can do hard things! People say "I could never do that!" But, the truth is - we are not extraordinary, we are regular people who made the choice to persevere and we did not do it alone.

I am nothing without my savior Jesus Christ and the atonement. The savior and the atonement are what get me through everyday and without him I could never be where I am today. 

Always put family first. My family is the most important thing to me and through this journey we have had our ups and downs like any family, but we are so close and so much stronger when we are together as a family. 

Even trials can be a blessing. People wonder how anything good can come out of such an awful event, but the truth is many wonderful and great things have come out of Brooke's death. She was and continues to be an amazing person and I am constantly blessed to be her sister. 

I will see her again. I believe that through the power of the atonement families can be together forever and I know that one day I will see Brooke again and I cannot begin to imagine how wonderful it will be! 

Love unconditionally. The last thing Brooke told me was that she loved me and throughout her life she made sure that I knew she loved me and cared for me. You never know how you might touch someone or how long you will be able to tell someone you love them. Take the extra time to love those around you it's worth it. 

Happiness is not found, it is created. We have all control to decide whether or not we are going to be happy. It is a choice and even when we are faced with unreal tragedy we can make the choice to be happy. 

Sorry that this post is so long - but I have so many thoughts about this!! I love Brooke with all of my heart. She was one of the most amazing people I have ever known in my life. The more I talk about it with my mom and think of everything I remember and know about her she was a wonderful, kind, caring, loving, amazing person. She wanted the best for everyone around her and strived to make the world a better place. I hope that I can follow in her footsteps be the type of person she would have wanted me to be. I miss her so much and falling in love and preparing to get married has been so hard to do without her. I wish everyday that I could call her up and talk to her about life and love and decoration and bridesmaids dresses. I am so lucky to be marrying the most wonderful man on the earth who supports me in everything and who stands by me and is willing to let me break down and hold me while I cry. I have been so blessed to have the most wonderful family who is always there for me and who understands me. I am so grateful for them and I love them so much. They have taught me to never forget that is is never too late to change and life isn't about money or toys or status, but it is about the simple things.    

 Never forget to :

Love those around you

Spend time with your family

Give service as often as possible

Never stop learning

Take your time

Smile

Laugh

Live

Be the best you can be!

Sunday Gratitude

These days Sunday is the only day I actually know! I feel like all of my days blur together and I can never remember what day of the week it is lately!! Time here is flying by! On Wednesday I will have been in London for exactly one month and I have so many things to be grateful for!!

I'm grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It drives my life and I am so, so grateful for the person it has helped me become

Good food!! I miss yummy, flavor filled food so much! 

My Mom!! I got to talk to her on the phone this afternoon and it was soo wonderful to hear her voice and chat with her like normal! I miss constantly texting her or calling her whenever I want!

Nature! That may sound weird, but the countryside of England has a beautiful landscape! All of the green reminds me of home and I love it!

Comfortable Heels - we have quite a trek to get to church on Sundays and I am grateful that I have an awesome pair of comfy heels that I can wear to church! I love having shoes that are cute AND comfy!

A fiance that I get to marry for eternity and spend the rest of my life and much more with! 

Trials. Trials as hard as they may be are such great launching boards for learning and growth. I am thankful for all of the trials in my life that have played a role in the person I am today!

Parents who are so supportive of me and my decisions and are willing to help me with whatever I need!

The opportunity to meet and listen to some wonderful people who are so full of great advice!

Let people say we're in love!

Oklahoma is my all time favorite musical and I feel that that line applies to me perfectly! I absolutely love being here in London, but if there was one thing that would make it perfect it would be having the love of my life by my side!!

Yep - that handsome guy up there just so happens to be the love of my life! 

Being here has been a lot harder than I imagined, but I know that we have eternity together and we are both learning and growing so much and being apart is going to make being together that much sweeter! I am so grateful for an amazingly wonderful fiance who was so supportive with my adventure to London and continues to be supportive! 

Meanwhile he is back home working hard to get awesome grades, work his tail off, and still have time to write me :) I am so proud of him and all of his hard work! He has been so helpful with things that I need to get done back in the states and letting me have my fun over here! 

You probably think this is cheezy and so lame, but oh well - you don't have to read it then :p 

The wedding planning is going!! There is still a lot to be done, but progress is being made and everything is starting to come together! 

Exciting things are:

• We have just about 2 1/2 months until the wedding and I could not be happier!
•  I finally get to see Laren in 59 days which seems like an eternity, but seeing as how I have been in London for almost a month it is going to fly by! 
• We are both still madly in love with each other and cannot wait until we are sealed in the Temple!
• We got some more of our engagement photos and I love them! 
• Life is wonderful and I know that it is only going to get better!! 

Wales, Wells, and Durdle Door?

So preface - we went to Wales this last week and it was fantastic! I absolutely loved it there and I'm so excited for when my family comes and I get to go again! Wales was on a Thursday and Friday we went to Wells, but when you say Wales a lot and then say Wells they sound pretty much the same. We were under the assumption we got to go to Wales again, but we were wrong.. oh well. Durdle Door is just such a great name that is made up for silly Brits and their names! Wales, Wells, whatever!!

Our first over night outing as a group from the center was great! We saw some amazing things like Stonehenge, which actually isn't nearly as amazing as Avebury Henge which we also got to see, Tintern Abbey in Wales, the Cotswalds, Bath,  and dear old Durdle Door. I just keep thinking how lucky I am and how blessed I  am to be here. I am getting to see so many wonderful things and I am learning so much about life and the world and everything. It's great!

We stayed in Bristol and then took lovely little day trips. Okay - well that's a lie, they were long day trips, but definitely worth it! Our first day we headed to Stonehenge and got some fabulous pictures. It was really fun to go to Stonehenge - it is one of those things that you hear about in school or movies, but never really think about going to. It's a lot smaller than I imagined, but still great to see and think about!

Stonehenge!!

Me and Miss Esme! 

Avebury Henge came next and it isn't as popular as Stonehenge, but definitely way better to go to! Our tour guide was hilarious and was one of the best tour guides I have ever had. She was great! She was so eccentric and easy to listen to - the tour was a blast. I don't want to bore you all with explaining what Avebury Henge is - so go ahead and look it up, it's pretty interesting :)

 Avebury Manor! LOVE IT!

I was SO excited to go to Bath. It is always, always talked about in Jane Austin's books and I was excited to go and see it! It was definitely different from what I was expecting. I constantly have remind myself that I live in the 21st century, not in one of Jane Austin's novels and things don't look the same at all! I was imaging a quaint country city, which i'm sure it was at some point, but not anymore. It was still a really fun trip and i'm so glad we got to go! The Roman baths were incredible to see! It is so amazing that it was buried under the city of Bath for so long and even more amazing that so much was in tact when they discovered and excavated it!
We had a self-guided audio tour which was great and I learned a ton!

 Roman Baths!!

 Hot Mineral Water!

According to every Jane Austin character it has healing powers - so of course we had to try!

Wales was probably my favorite part of the entire trip! It was AMAZING! We had to the opportunity to go to Tintern Abbey and explore the ruins there on Thursday. I loved it! The main walls of the cathedral are still standing, but the rest is simply stone ruins. It was incredible to imagine such a large facility especially during the 12th century. Wales itself was absolutely beautiful! I could easily live in a Welch country town and be in complete bliss! We wandered through a little Cotswald town and had a blast exploring. They had a couple great bookstores and little shops. Also a delicious find were some macaroons for only 35p! One of my new goals is to figure out how to make macaroons - we'll see how that goes! We took a hike through the countryside and it was not only great to see the beautiful landscape, but also to get some well needed exercise!

We ended our adventure with Wells and Durdle Door on Friday. It was long day and I was definitely ready to come back to my bed at the center and be in London again. I am so glad we hit up Durdle Door Beach though! It was a less than welcoming hike up the hill, but the view was amazing and it was fun to be on the beach! Then it was finally back to London and a lazy Saturday!!

I am seeing Les Miserables tonight which I am beyond excited about! We had extra money so the entire group gets to go! I cannot wait - I love the movie and I have heard the play is amazing. Tomorrow I'm off to Down House ( Charles Darwin's home) and Hampton Court which is where Ann Boleyn lived, Cambridge on Wednesday, A Shakespeare play on Thursday, and a tour of the Globe on Friday! Jealous? I would be - but no worries, I'll provide plenty of pictures for your entertainment :)

An angel to call my own

As it is Mother's Day today, I decided to dedicate this post to my very own mother.
There are amazing women throughout the world and amazing women that I have encountered along my path of life, but none more than my mom. We have had our differences, and our ups and downs, but through it all she is my very best friend. I had an experience this last week that really made me think about my mom and brought tears to my eyes for everything she has ever done for me. I won't tell the whole story, but this last week was my turn to be on the kitchen crew here in the center. Let's just say, it was not my favorite part of the trip and on the last night I found myself alone in the kitchen finishing up the dishes. As I was doing the dishes I thought of my mom and all the times she found herself alone at the kitchen sink or maybe felt alone in a task she was doing for me or my siblings. I cried as I thought of all the opportunities to help my mother I missed over the years because of childish selfishness and other silly things. My mom is one of the best examples of service in my life. She has dedicated her life to serving others and she does such an amazing job. Preparing to get married in August and realizing that I won't have the opportunity to spend every spare minute of my summers or vacations with my mom is so sad to me. I love spending my time with her, and while this new chapter of life I am about to embark on is wonderful, and I am so excited for it, I will miss spending time with my mom. I am so grateful for her and everything she does for me, she is so full of love and willing to help me in whatever ways I need. As I start this new adventure in my life and look forward to having a family in the future, I hope with all my heart that I can be at least half the mom that my mom was for me. I believe in angels, and I know that I was so blessed to have one to call my own and and for my children to one day call grandma. Happy Mother's Day mom. I love you!

Happy Mother's Day!